… Mom
Lady: You’re making me wet… I SAID you’re making me wet.Man: Yes, I tend to have that effect on the ladies.Lady: With your umbrella.Man: I’m flattered, but it’s not that big. –1 train Overheard by:...
View ArticleChristian Recruitment Takes a New Tack
Latina: He could just touch a spot and get you off.Latino: Jesus could get you off just thinkin’ about you. –Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
View ArticleWe All Came on Our Birthdays
Black chick #1: You know what’s the funniest birthday card I ever read? Black chick #2: What? Black chick #1: “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, happy birthday to you, I hope you bust a nut.” Black chick...
View ArticleThere’s More to Making Love Than Fucking
Guy: I adore this cup so much I’m gonna make love to it. Chick: You really are a sick bastard. –68th & West End
View ArticleWednesday One-liners Got It in Pearl
Guy: I mean, eating your own cum is one thing, but eating it on a pizza four hours later? I should probably keep my voice down… –43rd & 8th
View ArticleWednesday One-liners Know What You Like
Girl on cell: Yeah, baby, I’m all alone in my apartment on my bed. I’m taking my panties off now. Mmm, I’m touching myself, thinking of you. I’m all wet for you, baby. –outside Starbucks, 54th &...
View ArticleThe Oldest Wednesday One-liners Profession
Crazy guy: Do you see what I put up with? That’s it, it’s over. We have not had sex in ten years. She says she don’t need it…Then I have to sleep with nigger whores. That’s right, Joan, I said it. I...
View ArticleComing Soon to a Theater Near You
Guy #1: Hey, answer me seriously, what would you do if one day I killed our neighbor? Guy #2: I would turn into a giant penis and spray semen all over the city. –A train
View ArticleIt Would Finally Be Okay for Him to Suck
Amy Poehler: Yeah, I can’t believe I was pretending to jerk off on a gay cruise and looking at Seth the whole time. He was really embarrassed and didn’t know what to do. –26th & 8th
View ArticleSay, Aren’t You My Congressman?
Older man: Hey, can I ask you about that digital camera you have?20-something guy: Yeah, sure. Thinking of buying one for your kid or someone?Older man: When you take pictures on that thing, do you...
View ArticleSanta Claus is Coming!
Cameraman: They actually have a huge problem every year at Rockefeller Center with all the people standing around at the ice rink and the tree. Guys will jerk off and rub up against people. –9th Ave....
View ArticleWe All Came on Our Birthdays
Black chick #1: You know what’s the funniest birthday card I ever read? Black chick #2: What? Black chick #1: “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, happy birthday to you, I hope you bust a nut.” Black chick...
View ArticleThere’s More to Making Love Than Fucking
Guy: I adore this cup so much I’m gonna make love to it. Chick: You really are a sick bastard. –68th & West End
View ArticleWednesday One-liners Got It in Pearl
Guy: I mean, eating your own cum is one thing, but eating it on a pizza four hours later? I should probably keep my voice down… –43rd & 8th
View ArticleWednesday One-liners Know What You Like
Girl on cell: Yeah, baby, I’m all alone in my apartment on my bed. I’m taking my panties off now. Mmm, I’m touching myself, thinking of you. I’m all wet for you, baby. –outside Starbucks, 54th &...
View ArticleThe Oldest Wednesday One-liners Profession
Crazy guy: Do you see what I put up with? That’s it, it’s over. We have not had sex in ten years. She says she don’t need it…Then I have to sleep with nigger whores. That’s right, Joan, I said it. I...
View ArticleComing Soon to a Theater Near You
Guy #1: Hey, answer me seriously, what would you do if one day I killed our neighbor? Guy #2: I would turn into a giant penis and spray semen all over the city. –A train
View ArticleIt Would Finally Be Okay for Him to Suck
Amy Poehler: Yeah, I can’t believe I was pretending to jerk off on a gay cruise and looking at Seth the whole time. He was really embarrassed and didn’t know what to do. –26th & 8th
View ArticleSay, Aren’t You My Congressman?
Older man: Hey, can I ask you about that digital camera you have?20-something guy: Yeah, sure. Thinking of buying one for your kid or someone?Older man: When you take pictures on that thing, do you...
View ArticleSanta Claus is Coming!
Cameraman: They actually have a huge problem every year at Rockefeller Center with all the people standing around at the ice rink and the tree. Guys will jerk off and rub up against people. –9th Ave....
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